The Sinister Starbucks Savage


Spooky tree- Contributor: FreeImages

Disclaimer: This story contains dark themes such as death, please read at your own discretion.

“Welcome to your first day at Starbucks!” the manager said. I looked in horror as she opened the door to the walk-in freezer and revealed the pumpkin spice latte creature. The being was on all fours and looked like a mutated cow. It took up most of the room and knocked the cinnamon dolce syrups and bacon sandwiches to the ground. It had glowing, shriveled udders and fangs with espresso dripping off of them. I stared in disbelief at the eldritch abomination. It stared back like it was in pain. It had hyper-realistic human eyes. How long was it in here? Why was it kept in the freezer? A million more thoughts rushed through my head, but I didn’t have any time to process them as the large metal door slammed shut behind me. 

“Do you know how we can afford to have a pumpkin spice latte monster at every single Starbucks?” My manager’s voice echoed through the door as the pumpkin spice latte creature slowly crept towards me. 

“We have so many 16-year-old white girls applying to Starbucks we can afford to lose a couple employees…” The monster lunged and dug its fangs into me. Pain shot through me like a venti cup of nitro cold brew. I could feel the pumpkin spice enter my bloodstream. I could hear my bones snapping and creaking as the transformation began. I opened my mouth to scream, but a pair of fangs as sharp as passion tango tea concentrate kept any noise from escaping. My skin began to warp and udders grew from my stomach. Through the autumnal delirium of the pumpkin spice I could hear my manager faintly say: 

“There’s a new Starbucks being constructed down the street. We’ll transfer you there.”