As soon as students enter classrooms next year, something will be different: no more human teachers! “Most teachers are using AI to grade already, what’s the problem with just cutting out the middleman?” said an anonymous BVSD employee (whose identity is being protected to ensure job security). Students will be greeted by a virtual assistant teacher when entering the classroom.

 Many parents are worried about how students will be monitored. “We will still have security guards in the building that will keep students safe, the AI is also able to call the office if needed.” 

“We’re surprised with how smooth the pilot program has run,” a BVSD employee describes. “Students haven’t had much trouble adapting.”

In response to concerns of AI plagiarism raised by various BVSD administrative employees about students using AI to do their homework, the AI teachers have been programmed by district admin with the ability to detect when AI is being used. “This solves the issue of plagiarism, benefits scores, and encourages even deeper learning.” stated another anonymous BVSD employee. “It fosters a more education-based community where students will be able to develop a heightened level of independence.” Staff such as counselors and administration will not be replaced and will still be present in the building. Counselors will still answer any questions in terms of schedules or futures. 

While it isn’t the most popular approach, it is the simplest. Now, instead of paying for individual teacher salaries, BVSD only pays for the AI teaching software. This approach means funding can be spread to other areas of the school such as engineering or the arts, but most likely engineering. 

“At the end of the day, it’s about the students,” BVSD District Admin states, “By teaching this way, students have their needs met altogether instead of having one individual teacher focusing on their specific individual needs.” Classrooms are 100% focused on students as the students are the only humans in the classrooms. 

Whereas human teachers need to spend hours individually grading and evaluating every assignment a student turns in, AI teachers are able to grade papers in a matter of minutes. 

“I think it’s a good idea,” said one student. “Teachers can now get a well-deserved break, and we can have Artificial Intelligence determining our grades and ultimately our futures. I think it reflects the way the real world is heading.” While this program is experimental, district administrators have high hopes and expectations. “Whereas human teachers need to spend hours individually grading and evaluating every assignment a student turns in, AI teachers are able to grade papers in a matter of minutes. And, because of this speed, where teachers might make mistakes or lack quality in grading because of how fast they want to grade, AI doesn’t make these errors. We expect good results, without room for human error, there should be little to no mistakes,” read a statement on the BVSD website announcing the program.  

Overall, teachers don’t need to babysit in classrooms anymore. Funding goes to other areas of the school and students’ learning is at the core of the entire school buildings. “What could go wrong?” another BVSD employee stated.

BVSD teachers have not yet commented. 

This article was produced as part of our annual satire edition, and is entirely satirical.