We have labelled this article as “MISLEADING” due to the writer being affected by a disease that causes hallucinations of power outages. Read more on our instagram.
At the start of 2025, a new policy from the BVSD board’s deepest darkest desires was unleashed upon the humble and innocent Centaurus students, a policy that took away their precious electrical entertainment machines from their arms, and forced them to walk around without funny internet videos or checking Snapchat every second. A horrible thing to put upon the phone-addicted students of BVSD.
The policy banned all phones and personal devices from student usage, only allowing their black scrap boxes known as “school chromebooks” to be allowed for them to use. While personal devices have shown signs of lack of enforcement, phones are treated more like contraband than any vape you see a highschool student casually smoking in the bathroom across the hall. Immediately after introduction, this policy was met with mass amounts of hate and protest, as many students couldn’t accept the fact that their favorite form of entertainment during the school day was being restricted. The most infuriated outcry came from the much loved and well respected freshmen class, who hated the phone ban and went rabid due to not being able to fuel their Block Blast & Brawl Stars addictions.
Many other students tried to accept the missing phone spot in their hand. However, as the policy went on and things seemed like they were going according to BVSD’s plan, a concerned BVSD board saw something they could never have guessed would happen: students’ grades decreased 2 weeks immediately after increasing. Students who seemed to exceed because of the phone ban immediately went back down to previous horrible grades, sometimes dropping below their already dreadful performances.
The board and executives at BVSD were dumbfounded. What could they have missed? Surely the one book they used as evidence wasn’t wrong at all, or failed to account for something? Later research done by BVSD found that students’ grades decreased because of the overall amount of negative thoughts and actions experienced by students in reaction to the phone ban. Things like refusing to give up phones, skipping class to use their phones, or even just acknowledging the existence of the ban. BVSD couldn’t believe this; however, there is research to back it up. According to Dr. Deni D. Adegrie from BVSD’s R&D department, with help from the Yale University’s psychology department (because BVSD will do anything or hire anybody to take away student phones), “students with connections to a phone are hurt over time due to addiction, especially when an implied rule or ban is in place. Now it may seem dumb, but it is true. I’m surprised we didn’t know.” While this research should have been done sooner, it definitely shows that the phone ban is flawed (because it totally wasn’t already).
After scrambling to find some sort of excuse to keep it in place, BVSD finally conceded. A board meeting next week will determine whether or not phones will return to Centaurus or not, and from what it sounds like, some board members are discussing a rule that will only allow 12 phones to be out at a time in the whole building. Now how this will be accomplished (or if it’s even possible), we here at the CHS Warrior Scroll do not know. However, we expect horrible things from the meeting next week. Good luck to all of those with phone addictions, and tune into more news from The Scroll this week.
