@Chs.shitparking.  @Chs_vent_ .  @Chs._.slumped. Type “chs” into your Instagram search bar, and you will immediately be met with upwards of 60 Instagram accounts, all boasting some niche, Centaurus-themed content (and that’s not even counting the accounts using “Centaurus”). Each comes equipped with several underscores,  a low-quality edit of the warrior logo, and a bio asking for submissions of some kind. 

Subtract around 30 of those (which are official school accounts and/or club and activities accounts), and you’re still left with an astonishing 30+ Instagram accounts for one drab-looking building in Lafayette, Colorado. There’s even an @Official_chs_account_ranker account, just to rank all the other accounts. 

Right off the bat, that’s kind of insane. While some consider high school to be the best years of their lives (which is mildly depressing to dwell on), and Centaurus is certainly a unique school with many dynamic qualities, what could possibly be so special about our school that it inspires such a wave of online presences? 

There’s @chs_showerthoughts, @siblings_or_dating_chs, @chs_walls_    —  the list drags on. Out of these 30-odd accounts, I can guarantee you that only around 10 are actually worth any attention. And even those are mediocre at best, requiring a certain sense of teenaged humor to enjoy. 

This overflow of student-run accounts makes it more difficult to find the official, relevant school accounts, such as those for sports teams or clubs. Centaurus already has a problem with disseminating important information, and the blockade of accounts that one must break through before finding any official school account only exacerbates the issue. 

Students have seen the success of accounts such as @brucieisahottie (a Bruce fan account, sadly obsolete after its namesake retired last semester) and @Centaurus.secret_admirers (which posts the kinds of things once passed as notes behind a teacher’s back in days gone by), both of which have follower counts to rival Stuco, and decided they want their moment in the sun. Unfortunately for them, however, most of the accounts they create serve no real purpose, entertainment or otherwise, and they ultimately just end up cluttering the internet with grainy pictures of students in the fishbowl. 

Several of these accounts are highly uncreative (@centaurus_bathroom_shoes, for example). They rarely have anything worthwhile to say, and if they do, it’s something that’s already been said. And moreover, the large majority can hardly be considered funny. If you can’t even elicit a laugh, what’s the point? 

I understand the appeal of running an Instagram account connected to the school: you have a built-in captive audience, and maybe you can create something that will get noticed by the student body and award you some notoriety in the halls. Maybe you just want to mess around and do something silly on the internet. While these could be argued as valid reasons, I don’t see why the student body should be dragged into this unoriginal side hobby; make a private account with a random username and leave us alone. 

Additionally, there are plenty of opportunities for real social commentary/comedy related to CHS; instead, these accounts make vague and boring statements such as “Wow highschool students have bad posture, isn’t that funny,” which is not only an obvious, stale comment but also somewhat rude to the students posted. 

Which brings me to another low point of these accounts, one that’s potentially worse than all those preceding: several accounts of these accounts (@Chs_juicy_news, @centaurusbadfits,  @chs_bad_posture, and @chs.slander.official, to name a few) were founded with cruel intentions. Accounts post photos of random students without their consent, with the express purpose of making fun of them – either that or they post petty gossip, for the whole school to see. That might be considered cool in cult classics like Mean Girls, but in the real world, that’s just pathetic. I can think of almost nothing more ick-inducing than publicly mocking others in an attempt at some sort of warped social recognition. Accounts such as these only serve to bring down school spirit and foster resentment among the student body. Chs is already somewhat want for school pride; we don’t need people to kick us when we’re down.

While some of these accounts have a clear purpose (for example, @chsshitparking is for mildly shaming bad student drivers in order to maybe maintain a semblance of order in the parking lot), many of them are simply a pitiful attempt at gaining some attention in the whiny brawl that is high school. Everyone is looking for their 15 minutes of fame – why they thought that could be achieved via a low-quality Instagram account that posts slightly offensive content once or twice a month is somewhat beyond me. 

Centaurus is a great school filled with lots of interesting, talented, and creative people. But you’d probably never know it from our online presence. Although I’ve certainly gained some entertainment by glancing at select accounts every now and then, on the whole they’re just an obnoxious phenomenon that seems to spread anytime some new student decides they want to feel special. Through their desire for attention, these accounts have sullied the school’s name and offended the tastes of the student body. So this is my official request: delete your CHS themed account and go touch some grass, for crying out loud.