This article was produced as part of our annual satire edition, and is entirely satirical. 

This week a school-wide wifi crisis brought classes to a halt when the wifi suddenly shut down in the middle of the morning. For the large number of students and teachers who rely heavily on their computers and the internet to learn or teach, the crisis had a major impact. 

While the morning of the wifi crisis ran relatively normally, with only minor interruption from the typical slow internet, by the middle of third period, multiple classrooms began struggling when necessary webpages like Google Classroom stopped loading. 

“It was like we’d gone back in time,” laughed a teacher. “When I was in high school, no one had computers. We used chalkboards, overhead projectors. Tech savvy teachers in the 90s would write in various colored markers on projector sheets and we took paper and pencil notes. These kids got to experience class old school.”

As the day continued, the wifi struggles only got worse. Teachers reverted to primitive paper assignments or simply gave students work time when the day’s lessons refused to load, putting entire classes behind. 

Many were not enthusiastic. “All of my prep was useless!” Said the new student teacher. “We are teaching 21st century learners. Technology and the internet are essential. We are crippled without those tools. What did I have my students do during class without wifi? Nothing! I was crying in the corner and they were celebrating a free period. It was one of the most chaotic moments of my teaching career.” 

When teachers tried to make up for lost time, things only got worse on the students’ end. Kids were assigned extra homework that night, and even the work time they were given in class did little to help lighten the load because their computers were not working. With a million different activities and jobs going on after school, stressed-out students found themselves falling behind in class – a weight, similar to that of a stack of papers, felt by everyone in the following days. 

“I’ve hardly gotten any sleep this week. I finish an assignment just to have another take its place. Teachers keep trying to give us work time, but it’s never enough,” remarked a student struggling to keep up with her class.

One girl found herself facing a different challenge. “I guess I spend most of my lunch on my phone, on social media… But I had to actually go up to people and have a conversation. It was crazy! I think I got a better sense of people’s emotions when I spoke to them face to face. Turns out things aren’t always as they seem in a DM.”

“Did you ever know there are pictures of student athletes hanging up in our hallways?” A boy asked. “I actually saw my uncle in one of those pics. He was an all state wrestler. Huh!”

The wifi crisis wasn’t all bad, and many kids found themselves rethinking the way they see the world. 

Whether celebrated or feared, losing wifi definitely impacted our school. Staff and students alike agree that it is time for change. But just whether that involves less time online or more is up to you to decide.